(Source: beatdropseyeslock)

    I cannot express how annoyed I am at the current state of writer’s block I’m suffering through. It’s insufferable. How do I get rid of it?
    Across the Stage

    For you sis - I wished on so many stars I could’ve been there today. I’m so proud of you. And I added a fun little guest at the end because….we’ll because I’m me. xoxo, M

    I couldn’t stay.

    Which is why I never told her I was coming in the first place.

    Knowing her, she would’ve begged and pleaded with those large brown pools she calls eyes and there’d be no point in arguing because she would win. Like she usually does. My kryptonite, that one. Among other things.

    So I didn’t tell her.

    It was better this way, really.

    She’d hate me when she found out but it was worth it. As much as staying sounded wonderful, I had my own family to think about and the preparations I still had to take care of.

    When they called her name, I couldn’t help but straighten up a bit. I craned my neck to peer over the heads of those in the rows before me and I imagined what it would’ve been like if I had been able to sit with her family up towards the front. Maybe one day. When she graduated from college. Or accepting some big fancy award. Or making some important speech.

    Maybe one day.

    For now, I watched her, all smiles, as she walked across the stage, dressed in the same blue my brother would have on when he too graduated on Sunday. She looked radiant, the happiest I probably had ever seen her. And she was so close. All I had to do was wait until it was over and run to her, finally wrapping her in a huge bear hug. But I bit my lip and allowed myself to clap.

    I couldn’t stay.

    But oh how I wished I could.

    I clapped as she walked, smiling down to those looking up. She accepted her diploma and I was so very proud of her. In the two years we’d known each other, she had proved to me just how kind, loving, funny, and smart she was. A true friend. And those were hard to come by. She joined the others and I leaned back, clasping my hands in my lap. I checked my watched quickly before diverting my attention back to the students. I only had so much time left.

    Once it was all over, I found a spot underneath a particularly shady tree, keeping my distance as students and their families and friends flocked around them. You could hear the laughs. See the smiles. Feel the happiness. I spied her across the grass, laughing at something Jeremy had said. Once again, I found myself smiling. They were adorable. As always. And it was good knowing he treated her the way she deserved to be treated. I was glad to see him walk across that stage too. When a hand landed on my shoulder, I didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

    "You didn’t lie when you said she was stunning. That smile could kill."

    I chuckled but didn’t turn, soaking up the last few minutes I could be with her, even if she didn’t know I was there.

    "It could, couldn’t it? She looks amazing."

    His voice was suddenly soft.

    "You know we’ve got to go Mads. The jet is waiting on the tarmac. You’ve got to get back."

    I didn’t want to cry but I always seemed to be an emotional wreck so of course I had to wipe away a few stray tears. I couldn’t help it. I wanted so badly for her to look in my direction. But she wasn’t going to because she wasn’t expecting me. So I nodded quickly, his arm coming around my shoulder to steer me away. A slight breeze blew then and I sent all my love with it towards my best friend on her very special day.

    I clung to myself as Sebastian’s private jet came into view. Smiling at him as he handed me his coat, I slung it around my shoulders and climbed aboard. I sent a quick ‘congratulations’ text to Jasmine, trying to keep the tears at bay. I turned towards the window and distracted myself by watching Sebastian and the pilot speak, hoping I’d fit in a nap before landing in Vegas. When he appeared in the seat next to me, I leaned back against him, silent. As we lifted into the air, I turned.

    "Thank you."

    He smiled.

    "What good is being Sebastian Stan if I can’t help a very good friend out? The jet was just waiting for a trip to South Carolina."

    I smirked and turned towards the window again. His arm came around me once more and I knew he’d be falling asleep soon. As the lull of the jet threatened to put me to sleep, I checked my phone one more time before my eyes completely shut.

    "Thanks sis. Wish you were here."

    If only she knew.

    Beautiful People: Kendall Schmidt

    (Source: bigtimewho)


    Pictures by Gleann Igancio & Simma Lamb 

    Edited by me

    (Source: celskier)